Mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you. (Jude 1:2)

In what areas of your life do you feel most stressed?
What are a few simple things you can do to relieve that stress?

Today is Day 4 in our weekly series about reducing stress. This message is an excerpt from another excellent article by Elizabeth Scott. The entire article can be found at today’s Link of the Day.

We continue with our weekly series about reducing stress. Once again today’s message is an excerpt from another excellent article by Elizabeth Scott. The entire article can be found at today’s Link of the Day.

There are many events in life that can cause stress. This section explores the main culprits, as well as habitual thought patterns that can help or hurt, to give you a clearer picture of where the stress is coming from so you can more easily cope.

Job Stress
School Stress
Financial Stress
Relationship Stress
Traits and Attitudes That Increase Stress

Job Stress
Long hours, difficult co-workers, and lack of appreciation are just a few factors that contribute to job stress. Here are resources for understanding and handling the factors that can make work stressful.

1) In The Wrong Job?
2) Co-Worker Conflicts
3) Need for Balance
4) Burnout Causes and Symptoms
5) Job Stress and Health

To learn more about any of these categories or subcategories of stress, please visit today’s Link of the Day.

Prayer Power
Heavenly Father, help me to be aware of unhealthy stressors in my life and then take appropriate actions to reduce or eliminate those. Thank You Jesus. Amen.

Link of the Day
Areas of Life And Responses That Lead To Stress – by Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

Blessings to be aware of and deal with unhealthy stressors in your life!

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Reference: [http://stress.about.com/od/financialstress/a/financialcrisis.htm]

Journaling
For those who are really stressed and need to feel that they’re doing something, journaling about stressful emotions can help get them out of your head so you don’t end up ruminating on what stresses you. Be sure to end your journaling session with some brainstorming on solutions, and you’ll get a better sense of control over the situation, and a more positive attitude.

Above all, my brothers, do not swear-not by heaven or by earth or by anything else. Let your “Yes” be yes, and your “No,” no, or you will be condemned.

What do women especially need to be aware of regarding stress?

We continue with our weekly series about reducing stress. Today’s message is an excerpt from another excellent article by Elizabeth Scott. The entire article can be found at today’s Link of the Day.

It seems to be common knowledge that women are generally busier and more stressed than men, that they juggle more roles and are constantly rushing. But how true is this perception?

Research from The University of Arizona’s School of Family and Consumer Resources decided to find out. They took a sample of 166 married couples and had each participant maintain a daily diary over the course of 42 days, where they recorded their daily stressors. The results indeed showed that women reported a greater amount of “high distress” days and fewer distress-free days than men.

Interestingly, the differences in levels of stressful days were due to women experiencing more onsets of “distress episodes” (having stress response triggered), rather than being more likely to continue in a distressed state from one day to the next. In other words, women didn’t hold onto their stress more; they just experienced more episodes of being stressed.

This brings up some important issues regarding women and stress that women need to be aware of:

1) Understand Gender Differences in Stress?
2) Eliminate What You Can
3) Alter Your Perspective?
4) Have Some Quick Stress Relievers?
5) Maintain Regular Stress-Relieving Habits?

Prayer Power
Heavenly Father, thank you for Elizabeth Scott and the excellent articles she has written about reducing stress. May today’s message enlighten many women to reduce stress in their lives. Thank You Jesus. Amen.

Link of the Day
Stress in Women: How Women’s Stress Differs; How Women Can Relieve Stress – by Elizabeth Scott, M.S. (see below)

Blessings to be enlightened to reduce stress in your life!

Dr. Randy Peck
“Blessed to be a blessing”
The Connector – connecting people, ideas, and resources in Christ through the POWER of the Holy Spirit

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Reference: [http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/a/women_stress.htm]
Stress in Women
How Women’s Stress Differs; How Women Can Relieve Stress
By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com
Updated: June 3, 2008

It seems to be common knowledge that women are generally busier and more stressed than men, that they juggle more roles and are constantly rushing. But how true is this perception?
Research from The University of Arizona’s School of Family and Consumer Resources decided to find out. They took a sample of 166 married couples and had each participant maintain a daily diary over the course of 42 days, where they recorded their daily stressors. The results indeed showed that women reported a greater amount of “high distress” days and fewer distress-free days than men.

Interestingly, the differences in levels of stressful days were due to women experiencing more onsets of “distress episodes” (having stress response triggered), rather than being more likely to continue in a distressed state from one day to the next. In other words, women didn’t hold onto their stress more; they just experienced more episodes of being stressed.

This brings up some important issues regarding women and stress, that women need to be aware of:

Understand Gender Differences in Stress
If you’re feeling more stressed than your male counterparts, don’t take it as a sign that you’re not handling stress as well; it might be because you’re experiencing more stress. Give yourself a pat on the back for handling what you already are, and move confidently to step two.

Eliminate What You Can
It seems that people are always asking women (especially mothers!) to help with group projects like organizing office birthday parties or running the PTA. While many of these activities are fulfilling, they can add up to a significant amount of stress just by filling your schedule to the brim. While it can be very difficult to say no sometimes (especially if you tend to be a “people pleaser”), it’s vital to your health and happiness that you keep in mind that saying yes to too many requests means saying no to things you need: time alone, hobbies, and other soul-nourishing activities. To maintain a reasonable level of daily stress, women need to get used to the idea of setting priorities and saying no.

Alter Your Perspective
Much of your experience with stress can be eliminated with a change in the way we look at things. This may sound too good to be true, but it isn’t! Altering the way you conceptualize the events you find stressful (viewing them as a “challenge” instead of a “threat,” or an “opportunity” instead of a “crisis,” for example) can actually make them feel less threatening and stressful. When you don’t perceive a situation as a threat, your body’s stress response is deactivated more quickly (or doesn’t get triggered in the first place), and you’re more able to avoid the effects of chronic stress. (See this article on cognitive restructuring for more.)

Have Some Quick Stress Relievers
Because you can’t eliminate all stress in life (and wouldn’t want to if you could!), and because it may not be possible to stop reacting to stress (even with the most positive outlook), it’s important to have some fast stress relievers in order to reverse your stress response quickly and prevent yourself from entering a state of chronic stress.

Maintain Regular Stress-Relieving Habits
You can also prevent yourself from getting into an overwhelmed state (where you’re more reactive to stress) by maintaining some regular stress relief activities as part of your schedule. Studies show that those who meditate regularly are less reactive to stressors that occur in their lives. Exercise is also an important option to remember; it can keep you physically and emotionally healthy. Journaling also has many benefits for its users. Adding one of these options to your morning or nightly routine could bring be especially useful.

For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.

How do you clean house with your schedule?
Are you ready to toss out the old and begin anew?

As mentioned yesterday, my series this week is about reducing stress.

Today’s message comes directly from Part 1 of a fantastic 8-part practical article titled “Finding Balance – Valuable Tips For The Stressed and Busy.” The entire article can be found at today’s Link of the Day.

Just as you budget how you spend your money, it’s important to remember that budgeting is vital when you choose how to spend your time as well. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many of us still have trouble saying ‘no’ when someone asks us to commit our time to a worthy cause. All these worthy commitments can add up to a lack of balance and excessive stress for women.

It may be especially difficult to say no to commitments that benefit others, that speak to our ideals, or that may get us ahead in other areas. Indeed, those are often the commitments we should say yes to, but too many of these commitments can cause an excess of stress.

The following are some strategies that women can use to find balance, pare down their schedules, and relieve daily stress. (Note: This article is geared more for women because they tend to juggle more roles, but men may find this article helpful as well.)

Prayer Power
Heavenly Father, I confess that I often allow my life to get out of balance. May I apply the simple principles shared in today’s Link of the Day. Thank You Jesus. Amen.

Link of the Day
Finding Balance – Valuable Tips For The Stressed and Busy – by Elizabeth Scott, M.S. (see below)

Blessings to find that healthy balance God desires!

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Reference: [http://stress.about.com/od/relationships/ss/balance.htm]

Finding Balance – Valuable Tips For The Stressed and Busy – by Elizabeth Scott, M.S.

Just as you budget how you spend your money, it’s important to remember that budgeting is vital when you choose how to spend your time as well. This may seem like a no-brainer, but many of us still have trouble saying ‘no’ when someone asks us to commit our time to a worthy cause. All these worthy commitments can add up to a lack of balance and excessive stress for women. It may be especially difficult to say no to commitments that benefit others, that speak to our ideals, or that may get us ahead in other areas. Indeed, those are often the commitments we should say yes to, but too many of these commitments can cause an excess of stress. The following are some strategies that women can use to find balance, pare down their schedules, and relieve daily stress. (Note: This article is geared more for women because they tend to juggle more roles, but men may find this article helpful as well.)

De-Clutter Your Life
Have you seen those home makeover shows where they clear out all the clutter in a room, and then reorganize the room by returning only those things that are vital to the happiness of the homeowners? You can use the same process to reorganize your life. In your mind, clear the clutter from your schedule and imagine it empty. Then return only the things that are vital to your survival — your job and sleep, for example. Then bring other things back into your schedule in their order of importance, adding new things that are important as well (like time for exercise), and leaving out things that are draining you or stressing you, like obligations that you’d rather not keep. This exercise can give you a greater idea of what things in your life are feeding you, and what things you may want to eliminate. (Note: Some more popular pieces of ‘schedule clutter’ include mediocre television shows, time spent with people who drain you, time spent doing tasks that could be streamlined.)

Remember The Trade-Offs
Usually when we’re presented with requests on our time, we think about whether we can fit this new activity into our already-packed schedule, and whether or not it’s worth it. This often leads to an even more packed schedule. When deciding what to say yes and no to, I find it extremely helpful to remember that every ‘no’ is a ‘yes’ to something else, and vice versa. If you say yes to taking on a position in the PTA, that means less time for exercise, meditation, time with your children, or something else that’s also important. Perhaps it’s worth it, perhaps it’s not, or perhaps you’d rather cut out something else in your schedule. But, looking at each new commitment as something else that needs to be given up (even a hypothetical something) can make finding balance easier.

Delegate Like A Pro
Good managers know the value of delegating responsibility by pairing people with jobs that they can do well, adding some encouragement, and letting go. Many women, however, get caught up in the ‘If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself’ trap, and find themselves doing everything. Don’t forget that other people in the office might be able to handle (or help with) some of the projects you’re doing, and may actually want to do so. Children may be far more capable of doing housework than you are giving them credit for, and may get a sense of pride in being able to do such jobs, if encouraged properly. Even most husbands can be utilized more efficiently than they often are. (One study found that the main difference between dads who were involved with infant care and those who weren’t was the attitude of the mother. Encouraging moms found themselves partnered with more helpful dads!) Even hiring help — housekeepers, gardeners, personal assistants and the like — counts as delegation, and can be extremely helpful and worth the cash. The next time you feel that you are doing too much, look around and see if you can find some help.

Do A Good Enough Job
Sometimes things need to be done with precision and perfection, but more often, they don’t. Although the Martha Stewart types may be quick to point out how special things are when you go the extra mile, and how attention to detail makes all the difference, this type of thinking can also lead to perfectionism, stress, and a lack of balance. If you find yourself already too busy, you may really benefit from giving yourself a break. Take shortcuts, if the end result is still adequate. (Will your guests really care if you used a traditional mop on the floor, or quickly went over it with a Swiffer? Won’t store-bought cupcakes still taste as great for the office party or class picnic?) Live by the 80-20 rule, where you identify the 20% of work that yields 80% of the results, and focus mainly on what’s important, letting the rest slip if necessary. Remember, sometimes focusing on perfection isn’t as important as focusing on speed, especially when you’re looking for balance in your schedule.

Live In The Now, But Keep The Future In Mind
Do you have a plan for the future? Most businesses have a one-year plan, a 5-year plan and a 10-year plan, and plan their daily activities with these goals somewhere in mind. This can be helpful for women, too. I’m not saying that everything you do needs to be part of a supreme master plan for optimal living, but this type of general thinking can help keep balance and perspective. For example, when choosing whether to exercise or watch television, thinking about the long-term benefits that would come from each makes it much easier to skip a moderately entertaining show in favor of getting moving. Both activities can relieve stress, but one contributes to an overall plan for better health, while the other doesn’t. See where you can apply this analogy to your own decisions and find more balance in your life.

Stay Organized
Being organized is vital to finding balance in life. If you have a schedule where everything fits, you’ll be more efficient with your time. And you’ll be able to relax not only in the knowledge that you’ll get things done, but also in that what you’re working on in a given moment is what you’re supposed to be working on. Don’t overlook the value of online time management tools, PDAs and other time management accessories. But also keep in mind that a good plan and a clear budget for your time is invaluable in maintaining balance in your life.

Consult Your Inner Child
Remember when you were a child, and you imagined what your life would be like when you were grown up? You probably only imagined yourself doing exciting things, not some of the minutia you probably get bogged down by right now. Although it’s unrealistic to be only doing things that are ‘fun’ (sometimes we need to take a break from skydiving and going to parties to do a few loads of dishes and pack lunches for the next day), it can be helpful to remember to try to keep fun things in your life and stressful things out of it.

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Are you overscheduled and overstressed?
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your ability to say “No” to things that don’t belong in your schedule?
What steps will you take to improve that?

This week I’ll be sharing about reducing stress, something many people experience an especially big dose of during the Christmas season.

A few days ago, I received an email from John Miller, founder of QBQ! (Question Behind The Question) titled “QBQ! Boundaries: Saying No.” That title grabbed my attention when I first read it and has continued to grab my attention each time I’ve seen that email in my Inbox.

Like many of you, I struggle with saying “No!” or better yet “No thanks.” The problem with that is it leads to over committing, which results in my “yes” not always being “yes.” And that leads to disappointments and hurt relationships. It also leads to me neglecting simple important daily commitments to myself, such as eating breakfast and exercising.

Here is part of what John Miller shared in his email message:

Drawing boundaries and resisting the temptation to overdo are all about “taking care of me,” and contrary to popular opinion there’s nothing wrong with that. If more of us took care of ourselves, we just might have an abundance of joy, improved mental and physical health, and greater peace of mind during a season that is all about Peace On Earth.

(Disclaimer: So why isn’t this message titled “Saying YES!” and encouraging people to partake in celebratory activities like those listed above? Because that’s not where most of us require strength. The lesson needed for many is not YES but, “No, thanks. Not this time.”)

Sure, it’s fun to revel in the holidays and to give to others, but possibly the best gift I can give myself and those around me this season is the gift of saying NO.

Prayer Power
Heavenly Father, I confess that I have a problem saying “No” to things that You have not asked me to do or that simply do not fit into my schedule. Please forgive me. Help me to become much more disciplined with my daily and weekly routines and to prayerfully consider the cost of commitments before making them. Thank You Jesus. Amen.

Link of the Day
How To Say No to People Making Demands on Your Time – by Elizabeth Scott, M.S. (see below)

Blessings to learn to say no much more often!

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Reference: [http://stress.about.com/od/settingboundaries/ht/say_no.htm]

How To Say No to People Making Demands on Your Time
By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., Updated: September 25, 2007

Are you overscheduled and overstressed? With today’s busy schedules, you’re not alone. One way to pare down your schedule is to get good at saying no to new commitments. Whether you say “yes” instead of no out of guilt, inner conflict, or a misguided notion that you can “do it all,” learning to say no to more requests can be one of the biggest favors you can do yourself and those you love. It helps reduce stress levels and gives you time for what’s really important.

Time Required: Very little. And it will free up time for what’s important!

Here’s How:
Just say, “I’m sorry. I can’t do this right now.” Use a sympathetic, but firm tone. If pressured as to why, reply that it doesn’t fit with your schedule, and change the subject. Most reasonable people will accept this as an answer, so if someone keeps pressuring you, they’re being rude, and it’s OK to just repeat, “I’m sorry, but this just doesn’t fit with my schedule,” and change the subject, or even walk away if you have to.

If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying “yes” to another commitment, do a cost-benefit analysis, and then get back to them with a yes or no. Most importantly, this tactic helps you avoid letting yourself be pressured into overscheduling your life and taking on too much stress.

If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time (or are having trouble accepting that you don’t), it’s fine to say, “I can’t do this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make. This way you’ll still be partially involved, but it will be on your own terms.

Tips:
Be firm — not defensive or overly apologetic — and polite. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.

If you decide to tell the person you’ll get back to them, be matter-of-fact and not too promising. If you lead people to believe you’ll likely say “yes” later, they’ll be more disappointed with a later “no.”

If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.

Remember that there are only so many hours in the day. This means that whatever you choose to take on limits your ability to do other things. So even if you somehow can fit a new commitment into your schedule, if it’s not more important than what you would have to give up to do it (including time for relaxation and self care), you really don’t have the time in your schedule.

This article has more strategies for finding time if you’re too busy.